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I've been trying to figure out what to write for a little over a week now. Writers block is no joke. But after visiting with my best friend this past weekend and also getting to see my oldest friend and one of my daughters, it came to me. Something that people with BPD do is sometimes choose one person to be their one and only. They get it in their head that as long as they have that one person, that is all they need. And they make that one person their everything. And maybe that doesn't sound too bad but it can be a real issue to that one person. Because that person is your everything, you tend to want to spend every waking moment with said person. You hang on tight and get jealous when other people want to spend time with your person. This can lead to fights and loss relationships.
This is definitely something that I have struggled with throughout the years. I always thought that if I just had that one person-that everything would be okay. But it wasn't okay. It was never okay. I have learned that I NEED people. I need more than that one person. I have learned that its okay to love more than one person, to trust in more than that one person, to laugh with more than that one person. I'm lucky to have finally realized this before I chased more people away in my life. I have great friends. I have wonderful children and grandchildren. I have years of laughter, love and shared dreams. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. I almost lost my best friend a few months back after his fight with covid. I don't know how i could survive without him in my life. After losing my mother and father, he was my support system. I leaned on him heavily and I can never thank him enough for being there for me. He loves me immensely and I love him just as much. And yes we definitely have our issues and he is far from perfect, but hes perfect for me.
Something I tend to do with all the people in my life is have a song. My girls and I have "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks, my boyfriend and I have "Then came you" by The Spinners and Dionne Warwick, my best friend and I share "Ain't no mountain high enough," by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell and my other bestie and I share "My wish" by Rascal Flats. I think its important to have all these wonderful, special people in our lives to just live life with. They keep us grounded and keep us smiling and happy. They make our life just a little bit less difficult. And I hope that anyone reading this whom only has that one person, goes out and gets more people. Get out of your comfort zone and find more people to love. Because friendship and love is a beautiful thing.
